In my opinion most people who blog do so because they have alot to say and not enough friends , time or phone credit to do so ;-)

At least that's why I write ,alot of the things i write i burn later (aka shift+delete) because I'm not ready to show the world who i am or everything i feel

So i usually share these intimate thoughts and ideas with my sister or my bestfriend

Anyways to get to the point of this post

I think I think too much...

That sounds wrong

I think too much , analyze to much, and delve into too many layers of human emotion....

I went on vacation recently to istanbul which i loved to pieces (another coming post with pictures coming soon!!)

I shopped alot, visited as many mosques and museums as I could and...yes you guessed it thought alot

I just realized something i need to relax stop thinking so much all the time and stop trying to change the world so I'm taking frankie's advice and I'm going to relax and I'm making a list for all my fellow chronic thinkers to relax

1-Try out the aqua massage

2-Go sit by the sea or the Nile and do absolutely nothing

3-Smile really hard and close your eyes

4-Don't listen to gossip (this one is amazing but quite difficult)

5-Take a nice long shower when your clean

6-lounge in ur living with the lights and tv off


after you have succesfully done one or some of the things on the list (all 20 minutes of them ;-)

Go back to your life and remember to relax

Merrily merrily merrily , life is but a dream.

There ain't nothing gentle or merry about rowing for sport but it's pretty cool

I would like to say that after the "incident" I took back to the water like a fish to the sea but aaah I'm only human I've hit the water but I'm still a bit freaked

It made it kinda worse when I overheard some guy I don't know asking my coach if I was the girl who flipped over last week yeah yeah stop rubbin it my face (or maybe he was hitting on me that would be a nicer explanation :-)

Anyways something beautiful happened while I was sitting in my boat about to begin rowing a poor little fishie jumping around in the water landed on my boat

Poor thing kept flipping itself but couldn't get back in the water
I was mesmerized but I couldn't reach out to push it back in the lake (cut me some slack here I just fell last week I was not going to risk that happening again for a fish)

She flipped six times the little thing was so determined every time it flipped it went up like 30 cm up in the air finally landing safely back in the water

and I like to think it's a she because my boat has flowers on it and girls like flowers :-)

I'm saving it for my happy thoughts

For my sister……

This is one of those posts bloggers write when they’re hurting real bad and don’t know who to blame…..like everyone in the world

I’m sad

Every time I’m sad I miss him

I wish he was here I wish he would look at me and smile

Then everything would be ok

Because I would know that no matter what is happening in my life no matter what I’m struggling with, no matter how many bad things were happening and no matter how few people in this world understand me it was okay because I’m his little girl always was and always will be no matter what no one can ever take that away

Whenever I’m having a hard time and I break down just a little bit my friends and family panic, you know because I’m their rock

The strong one, the sane balanced one

Most of the time they’re right I feel like I’m as tall as a building and as high as a bird in the sky

Other times meh

I know I’m like this because he went away when I needed him around the most 15 years old , I don’t know what that age is a kid or a woman I really don’t

But I do know that everything happens for a reason and that I’m strong because of him because I know he isn’t there and I have to make him proud and I also like to believe that I have so much of him inside me not just when I look in the mirror and see his eyes staring back at me but his quiet strength I feel so proud for having inherited that

He’s a better person than I could ever dream of becoming but I hope I can become a bit like him as I get older

One thing I’m sure of about my father he is unquestionably…….

The only man in the world who is truly irreplaceable