One of my worst fears……just came true.

One of my worst fears……just came true.

For almost a year now 3 times a week a wake up at dawn and drive out to a lake behind the Alexandria Nozha airport to rowing practice.

Mind you I do this for fun no races just me the lake and my hollering coach!

Anyways for the first few months every time I would hit the water I would freak out that I the boat would capsize and I would be humiliated because I was already incredibly insecure.

The only 25 year old there with an average age of 17 I worked really hard to earn the other rowers look of respect on the waters.

Just last week one of the Egyptian rowing champs (Number 2 in Egypt) talked to me for the first time in a year she said A7san Skeev !!!

Translation Go girl in the skeev boat ( I have no idea the English name of a skeev but all I know that it’s a light weight version of the traditional canoe to help you hone your balancing and rowing technique) I swelled with pride when she said that I couldn’t believe how far I’d come, wow!
Never thought it would happen at this point though…..

But aaah God has a way of reminding us we are not invincible this morning at exactly 7 am rowing away in the middle of the lake right outside the rowing lanes BOOM one of my oars hit the 200m metal mark (my fault of course because I was concentrating on the actual rowing and totally neglected being aware of my surroundings) I lost my balance and the unexpected happened my boat turned over *SPLASH* (I hope you’re all enjoying the cinematic effects ? ).

OK now what big lake, my coach is somewhere 3 km away from me on his motor boat and the only one close enough is a double canoe that of course I can’t get in because I would turn it over.

My boat wasn’t an option either because it’s quite impossible to get back in from the water.

The rowers in the double canoe, God bless them went to get help..

Abandoned in the middle of the freezing lake my feet touching something yucky.

A light bulb went off near my head (proverbial light bulb not a real bulb electrocuting me to death!) I fell in the lake, I fell off my boat, and I fell just when I had started becoming comfortable and pseudo professional like rower.

I fell.

I’m fine.

One of my worst fears had come true.

Again fine, wet and grossed out but nevertheless quite fine.

Even when I came out of the lake half expecting the other kids to look at me with pity or disdain.

I saw something else in their eyes.


Their own fear, these kids who’ve been rowing for years and have been in numerous races were afraid of the same thing I was; falling.

Speed bumps teach you to slow down and appreciate your surroundings since I was starting to get bored with rowing and felt like it wasn’t challenging enough for me.

I got my speed bump.

So I promise myself I will not take rowing for granted anymore.

And thank my lucky stars I have such an interesting activity in my life.

As an after thought I was telling my friend this morning I fell so she laughingly told me I fell because I was “single” since everyone seems to think that’s the reason for every girls problem ….oh and the ozone is depleting because I’m single too hehe.

Bucket list tag

Gjoez tagged me in the bucket list tag:

“Simply state any number of goals you want to achieve in the next 8-10 years. Let them be small goals, big goals, silly goals. It is always nice to think about a bucket list, write it down, and share it. But mot importantly, tag others to do the same when you are done.”

Bucket…Bucket what’s in the bucket !!

  • To lose Six kilos in 3 months
  • To be able to run this year’s Alexandria Marathon 
  • To change careers
  • To open my own business (probably a wellness center)
  • To own a 4 wheel hybrid car
  • To speak really good German not just some words
  • To travel around the world
  • To learn yoga
  • To meet the Dalai Lama
  • To write a book
  • Make a mark on the world
  • Sky dive!!
  • Learn how to surf
  • Swim with a dolphin

If you read this consider yourself tagged. 




"Clap your hands; don't let Tink die."

I’m afraid i'm losing my faith in the basic goodness …..

NO I’m strong I believe *sigh* damn those newspapers damn the politics……..

I want to believe I really do I’m an annoyingly optimistic person I want to believe that good has not become extinct I want to believe that my children will not read this in the dictionary .....

Good people: An extinct species of human beings who were morally excellent, virtuous, righteous, or pious (May they all rest in peace)

The stories you hear the horrific divorces, the strange murders over the silliest things, the backstabbing employees did I mention the horrific divorces

I’m not naïve I know bad things happen and monsters don’t live under my bed but out on the streets

Recently it starting to feel like it’s hitting closer and closer to home it’s emotionally draining

Remember the movie Hook it was the Peter pan sequel where Peter has grown up gotten married, had kids, forgotten about Never land, and forgotten how to be a kid.
After Captain Hook kidnaps his children Jack and Maggie

Tinker bell comes to take him back to Never land but he’s forgotten her the scene goes something like this

Peter Banning: I do not believe in fairies.
Tinkerbell: Every time someone says 'I do not believe in fairies', somewhere there's a fairy that falls down dead.
[Tinkerbell falls down the stairs of the dollhouse unconscious]
Peter Banning: Oh my God, I think I've killed it.
Tinkerbell: You do believe ….You do believe
[Peter clutching his head looking confused]
Peter Banning: I didn’t say that
[Tinkerbell fakes choking]
Tinkerbell: You did too . Now clap your hands. CLAP it’s the only way to save me peter clap, Peter CLAP
[Peter clapping]
Peter Banning: Okay I’m clapping just stop ringing

Can you hear me clapping

In the movie tinkerbell did exist and so does good I refuse to believe that good is gone and I refuse to believe that people have become guilty untill proven otherwise

I'm waiting out for my hero I'm waiting for my street-wise hercules defying all the odds

And then he'll sweep me off my feet and tell me thank you thank you my fairlady for believing in us thank you for not letting us all drop dead

Then we'll ride off into the sunset......INTERRUPT....

The director hollering : RJay your in the wrong movie this is snow white go back to your peter pan movie and ACTION

Hehehe ok I'm sorry I got carried away but we can all use a good laugh

Now as I was saying good people exist that is a fact and I don't care if no one believes me I don't care about the stories or the damn news or the friggin newspapers it's the truth and you better start believing or they will eventually dissapear

Remember everytime you start doubting the good in the world

Just Clap

Out of the sand and up in the clouds...

I made a revelation a couple of years ago (right after I broke up with my fiancée) that you could be In a room full of people and feel really lonely , at the same time you can be all alone physically and feel like you’re at peace , not to mention in the best company (little narcissistic that last comment )
I’m happy I get it but that’s the thing I understand a lot of things in theory but it doesn’t stop them from being extremely hard
I still want someone to call when I’m sad so they can make me feel better I want to find someone to share my excitement over something as silly as buying the perfect new shoes at half price cause there was a sale…..
I understand I can’t have that now and probably even when I have someone he won’t always give me that …..I really understand I just don’t like it very much but I guess I can’t do anything about it
I do have great friends and family who are always there for me but they don’t always understand or care about the silly things…. I guess because they have their own little things no one else cares about it
I was chatting with a friend the other day and every time I talk to her she tells me she’s hungry and is going to go eat coz its better than feeling lonely …heheh it was a joke but I guess she’s right I work out a lot that’s my thing chocolate helps too ….but still
Doesn’t always work it’s just like a pill instead of making me better it sometimes makes me ill
I thought I’d make like an ostrich and stick my head in the sand till the herd of lonely goes away and leaves me uneaten
Then I realized the ostrich doesn’t ACTUALLY put it’s head in the sand it just puts it’s head really close to the ground so it can hear it’s predators coming but when you look at it it seems like it’s head is buried in the sand ……imagine that……wow
I have no excuse now even ostriches don’t ignore their problems
So I’m taking my head out of the sand and sending it up into the clouds
I’ll go have some chocolate now …..

Take on Obama; The Middle Eastern Perspective

Obama is not an Arab.  Obama is not a Muslim.  Obama’s father is not an Arab nor is he a Muslim more like a confirmed atheist according to wikipedia.
Just saying……
Whether we like it or not the middle east is pegged to the US as a region everything relies on the U.S. from our exports to our exchange rates to the price of oil even to our civil wars so I damn well have an opinion even if it means squat I still have one.
I don’t get it why everyone’s so excited I just went on Facebook right after they declared Barrack Obama the new president elect and everyone’s yippee yaying.  Has anyone read this man’s proposed political policies? Obviously not.
I’m not saying I’d rather have McCain the Bush protégé even no thank you the man who has absolutely nothing to say for himself other than that he’s a former prisoner of war and is for the “war against terrorism”.  Don’t get me started on Sarah Palin  either, shame on you woman shame on you ruining everything every feminist has ever worked for, you have got to do better than that if u want to be the leader of the free world.
Don’t get me wrong I think Obama is perfect for America he’s a political genius.  Obama favored the bill to increase the federal minimum wage from $5.15 an hour to $7.25. He favors raising it to $9.50 an hour by 2011, and then indexing it for inflation afterwards.
He’s put great emphasis on revamping the educational system I quote "We owe it to our children to invest in early-childhood education; and recruit an army of new teachers and give them better pay and more support; and finally decide that, in this global economy, the chance to get a college education should not be a privilege for the few, but a birthright of every American."
Obama introduced the Stop Fraud Act to increase penalties for mortgage fraud by mortgage brokers and real estate brokers and to provide more protections for low-income homebuyers which was one of the biggest reasons for the economic crisis in the US.
In regards to capital gains on house sales, Obama says he favors increasing capital gains tax above the present 15% rate to 20% for families whose income is above $250,000.
He plans to modify the immigration laws to fix the broken beauracratic laws and regulate the need for skilled labor especially coming in from Mexico.
Obama also plans to increase funding for faith based programs which is to me a major step to align America with the constitution and decrease the amount of discrimination and prejudice happening there.
If anything his policies show that he’s a highly intelligent man with clear vision of what he wants the US to be and he knows exactly how to do it.  Kudos to the African American man who rose from modest beginnings to the leader of the free world.  I believe there will come a day the whole world will stand up and take their hats off to this man.
But what about us the Middle East the US president usually has more to say about our affairs than we do the billion-arab-oil-barrel question what about us? I’m merely stating the facts here and for all the Arabs out there please read this before becoming a devoted Obama fan.  Below are direct quotes on the Obama future foreign policy.
"Bringing a responsible end" to the war in Iraq and refocusing on the broader region meaning we’re staying in Iraq to suck all the oil out it for near nothing but we’re going to stop killing the Iraqis yippe.
Deploy an additional 7,000 troops to Afghanistan. "As president, I would pursue a new strategy, and begin by providing at least two additional combat brigades to support our effort in Afghanistan" "We need more troops, more helicopters, better intelligence-gathering and more nonmilitary assistance to accomplish the mission there" "I would not hold our military, our resources and our foreign policy hostage to a misguided desire to maintain permanent bases in Iraq," Obama said on July 14, 2008.
Hooray more war in Afghanistan although we haven’t heard anything from El Qaeda or Osama Bin Laden for all we know he’s dead but why hasn’t the “war on terrorism” ended even though all the terrorists are dead ….mmm beats me.
"The US will always side with Israel if Israel is threatened with destruction." Meaning we’ll kill al the damn Palestinians even they so much as think about it
Obama also proposes to reduce US oil consumption by 35 % (almost 10 million barrels a day; Saudi Arabia produces 8 million barrels a day) and to eliminate imports from the Middle East and Venzuela within 10 years.
This last point is in my opinion positive on some levels such as energy preservation and reduction of global warming and pollution. Yet, still not such a great thing for the 6 countries in the region who depend on oil as a large portion of their national income such as Kuwait and Saudi Arabia not only that this proposal will reduce drastically a lot of money being pumped into the region as a whole reducing labor needs in under populated countries such as Kuwait and Saudi Arabia that rely on countries such as Egypt, Syria and Lebanon to fulfill these needs relieving some economic stress off these countries.
That said I think Arabs should think again about being Obama fans.

Better single than sorry

Yes better single than sorry you read that correctly, I recently began reading the book better single than sorry by Jen Schefft
Jen was the notorious bachelorette who first rejected Andrew Firestone on the ABC show the bachelor and later rejected 2 proposals on her own show the bachelorette
I’m ashamed to say the first thing I did was Google Jen to see what she was up to now (basically whether she was married or “single and fabulous” whatever that means)
I was so excited to find out she recently became engaged and then did a double take was I one of those people I hate so much the people who judge people according to their marital status are as we call it in Arabic “social status” the irony isn’t lost on me when I think social status , you see people never thought about it before because a few decades ago marriage; the actual act of finding someone was never a problem maybe it was a money problem, the families-not-liking-each other problem or any other external issue but never the actual meshing/connecting/chemistry thingie whatever people call it

Jen was bashed mercilessly by America for rejecting 3 “perfectly wonderful men” for singleton life but it isn’t that simple Jen goes on the explain that she would rather wait for the “perfectly her man” to show up than just any perfectly perfect for someone else kinda guy
I meet so many great men that I just don’t click with so at least I’ve established a belief in good men but what about me? Why am I still single?
I haven’t finished the book yet but I’m loving the I haven’t-found-my guy-yet-but-I’m fabulous type attitude
But now that’s just it we all have more money, make less emphasis on social order and overall don’t have many problems getting down the isle

However we have a problem finding someone to actually walk with , I’ve pondered this question long and hard and have found no real problem; no there is no problem in the number of men there is no problem with meeting them then what the hell is it ?? millions of women scream out simultaneously (me included)


Nothing is wrong ….with anyone …no the men are not bad… the women aren’t too independent….and hell no the good ones aren’t taken (at least not all of them I hope)
We have one universal problem we have evolved so much and so far in all aspects in the last few decades but we expect marriage and the mating ritual to stay the exact same as it was when my grandmother got married
In the age of feminism, microwave diners and cloning why are we still expecting to fall in love with the third man we ever meet ( third meaning the first one after your father and brother) live happily ever after and have lots of gorgeous boys and girls?
How is that possible we have evolved socially so much we just don’t realize it or want to acknowledge it because basically we equate marriage with security which is one of the basic human needs
But you see that’s the thing we are actually realizing a high level of security by being working women, living , and traveling alone so instead of marrying at 16 to have someone provide for you and protect you , you already have that !!!
Simply put we just need to have a higher tolerance for getting married later in life and having had more than one marriage , it’s ok I really think we have to tell ourselves it’s REALLY OK if we marry more than once or marry for the first time at 35 that’s not a measure of success

According to Wikipedia
Success MAY mean:
* A level of social status
* Achievement of an objective/goal
* The opposite of failure

The opposite of failure is my favorite because it’s the most accurate being married and unhappy is not success to me.
I don’t think we need to “solve” any problem or riddle regarding marriage we just need to go with the flow if you are currently single enjoy it read the book you’ll feel better and really enjoy the success your having whether at work or with your social life
And if your married and don’t have kids enjoy the silence! Embrace it
If you have kids love them their leaving sooner than you think!!
That said for now I’m better off single than sorry


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