Out of the sand and up in the clouds...



I made a revelation a couple of years ago (right after I broke up with my fiancée) that you could be In a room full of people and feel really lonely , at the same time you can be all alone physically and feel like you’re at peace , not to mention in the best company (little narcissistic that last comment )
I’m happy I get it but that’s the thing I understand a lot of things in theory but it doesn’t stop them from being extremely hard
I still want someone to call when I’m sad so they can make me feel better I want to find someone to share my excitement over something as silly as buying the perfect new shoes at half price cause there was a sale…..
I understand I can’t have that now and probably even when I have someone he won’t always give me that …..I really understand I just don’t like it very much but I guess I can’t do anything about it
I do have great friends and family who are always there for me but they don’t always understand or care about the silly things…. I guess because they have their own little things no one else cares about it
I was chatting with a friend the other day and every time I talk to her she tells me she’s hungry and is going to go eat coz its better than feeling lonely …heheh it was a joke but I guess she’s right I work out a lot that’s my thing chocolate helps too ….but still
Doesn’t always work it’s just like a pill instead of making me better it sometimes makes me ill
I thought I’d make like an ostrich and stick my head in the sand till the herd of lonely goes away and leaves me uneaten
Then I realized the ostrich doesn’t ACTUALLY put it’s head in the sand it just puts it’s head really close to the ground so it can hear it’s predators coming but when you look at it it seems like it’s head is buried in the sand ……imagine that……wow
 
I have no excuse now even ostriches don’t ignore their problems
So I’m taking my head out of the sand and sending it up into the clouds
I’ll go have some chocolate now …..

2 comments:

Mohammad said...

It's such a dreadful feeling, loneliness.

I made your revalation long ago, and I make sure of it everytime I'm in a family gathering.

I think the small things matter only when u care about the person, and they start to sound silly the more u lose that feeling.

r u Galaxian or Cadburian?

jessyz said...

Now if only they would make zero calorie chocolate

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